We are looking a new roommate and was wondering if you wanted to join our adventure. If you fancy yourself as that person, read on. If not, well read on anyway – you never know, this maybe the perfect adventure you had never thought about.
To start this mystical adventure, you’d be living so close to New York City, you could literally throw a rock at it. You’d be taking the larger of the three rooms available. The room comes with ensuite bathroom – which includes a toilet!! The room also has an in-built closet space. The room is large enough to fit a king bed, a desk, additional wardrobe space & has a great view of the Hudson River & Manhattan. By our great, yet humble, geography skills you’d be looking at….hmmmm…probably downtown manhattan.
Ok, let’s get out of the room now, actually, let’s forget about the apartment altogether! Let’s take this adventure outside, where the sun is shining, the sky is clear & a light breeze brushes your face. We’re now in Newport. 3 minutes and 12 seconds away from the PATH train in to Lower Manhattan. The PATH can get you in to Manhattan (33rd street final stop) in around the 17 minute mark (weekday). It’s a little longer on weekends as it has to pick up the hip kids at Hoboken.
Other than the PATH, there are some great amenities in the Newport area. The mall, which houses such classics as Macy’s, JCPennys etc is only a few minutes stroll away. There is also a movie theater, which has likely shown such masterclass films as Fast Five and Terminator 4 previously.
Other places to explore on this adventure is the local Duane Reade, which is situated over the other side of the street. A local gymnasium, where the healthy & buff folk go. We have a local grocery store, which has been known to sell all kinds of great food produce at a decent price. Actually, I don’t know why I didn’t mention this before but, we have an awesome liquor store a mere matter of moments away. Although they do deliver too!
Other things which may entertain you: if you have hair there is a hair salon. If you have kids (not allowed) there is a kids store. If you have decent clothes that can only be dry cleaned, we have a dry cleaners! If you like a massage, there is a beauty salon – it cannot be confirmed if they offer happy endings.
Ok, back to the apartment we go. We have a cool set of concierge dudes – nice to them & they fist pump ya as you go by. If you’re not nice, they’ll open your mail (narh, only kidding!)
Each floor has it’s own laundry room. Bring quarters!
As our adventure draws to a close, we’re back in the apt again. We have a shared kitchen space – includes a microwave, fridge freezer, dishwasher, oven & plenty of cupboard space. We mostly order out, but we do cook on occasions.
The living room is mostly used to spend the evening catching up on shows such as Hardcore Pawn, Pawn Stars & Storage Wars. Other shows watched, in no particular order of favoritism: Glee, House, American Horror Story, Walking Dead, the Daily Show and a collection of other awesome shows. Sundays are generally Football days, but with the SuperBowl fast approaching that probably won’t be the case for much longer.
Smoking is not allowed in the shared areas, but can be done in your room if so desired.
We should point out at this time, for legal reasons, it has been known that we’ll flip our couch, order 30beers and play beer pong for the day.
So, you’re either thinking one of two things now: firstly, you’re not keen on this magnificent adventure. If that’s the case – be on your merry way. If you’re thinking, actually this could be where all my dreams come true, please read on.
You’ll be sharing with two, pretty sound guys. Let me introduce you to them:
Szaszy, was born & raised in New Jersey. He’s a lovable rouge, who likes to get up to mischief at the weekends. Szaszy likes to visit the local gymnasium, he tells me he works out, but I think he goes to look at the pretty ladies. Szaszy likes video games & listening to Adele. Szaszy is a fan of the New York Giants & New York Yankees (but only in October). Szaszy’s favorite tipple is Crown Royal.
Gary, that’s me, came from that small village over the Atlantic ocean. You may have heard of it. Great Britain, if you haven’t. Gary is an Apple fanboy, reads comic books & collects toys. He is a little bit of a geek, but not much. Gary has a thing for zombies. It should be noted that Gary is a fan of the Red Sox. Gary’s favorite drink is Stella Artois.
Szaszy & Gary work together in Midtown.
Now you’ve met the krew, we need to meet you. What we are looking for is someone to pay their rent & bills on time, so you must have a job. We generally do not drink throughout the week, so no parties Sunday thru Thursday. Although it has been known to open up some beers/whiskey if it’s been a bad day in the office.
If at this point you’re still interested, please email us & tell us a little about yourself. Tell us about your work life, your love life, your friends, your extra-curricular activities. Anything so that we can decide if you’ll fit in to our life.
The room is available ASAP. So for $1400 (plus months security) you can move in as soon as you can get your ass here.
Pictures are available on request.
Hope to see you soon
Gary & Szaszy