Everyone loves Angry Birds, everyone. It’s been downloaded 13,977,254,494 times, which for the non-mathematicians amongst us, is approximately twice the amount of humans on this planet. So, it’s fair to say – everyone loves Angry Birds.

angry birds

For the minute percentage that have never heard of Angry Birds, it’s a game of flinging multicolored angry birds at green pigs, which have stolen the bird’s eggs. The green pigs are located in different built structures, which you have to knock down with the angry birds. It’s like a shit metaphor for our lives, flinging ourselves hopelessly at things, whilst the government take our eggs & sit in their pretty buildings. The green pigs always win & continue on their merry way with our eggs.

Anyways, that’s not the reason for my post today. No. This is dedicated to the dick that decided to play Angry Birds this morning on the 8.23am PATH train from Jerkoff Square to 33rd St. Not only did he play Angry Birds on the packed train, which isn’t so bad – we’ve all been there. However, he played it with the sound on full. Instant dick move.

Now anyone that has played Angry Birds, we all agree that the sound becomes annoying & irritating within….oh…3 seconds – so the game is always played in silence – happily flinging birds from one side of the field to the other, waiting anxiously to see if the maximum three star’s are awarded for your destruction of the green pigs. So why on earth this dick decided that today would be the day that he’d play the sound on full is beyond me.

To make matters worse, he had his earphones in, so he was gleefully raping our ears whilst he enjoyed his country music. Twat.